I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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