I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
