I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
