shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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