how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
