Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize