I just cut my nipple shaving
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
