What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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