She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
