there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ketchup is God's man juice
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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