Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
