I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
