What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
