i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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