I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize