I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
