At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Randomize
