Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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