I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
