i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
