he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
