just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
