drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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