Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We need to rekindle our bromance
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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