We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
