It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
