You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize