I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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