Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize