and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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