I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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