So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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