something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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