i don't like sucking hair
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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