I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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