If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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