I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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