he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
