Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
