He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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