Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
