Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
