hotel room ftw
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
