lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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