Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
there is puke in my bra ... again
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
