I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
