i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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