Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
