i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Can you bring me the toilet please
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
