is your mom at the bar?
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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