I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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