I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
