NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
