i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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