she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
