sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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