O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
