you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
