when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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