Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
