And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
