mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
