Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
