I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
