New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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