Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
