i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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