thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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