not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
